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The Basics: Why Life Coaching?

The Basics: Why Life Coaching?

I was recently called in to help an anxious and depressed 11-year-old. When his mother ushered me into his room, I saw an overweight, sad-looking kid. I also saw a guitar and asked him if he played. He immediately brightened up, and we launched into a discussion about music. After a while, and with the expected coaxing, he picked up the guitar and started to play “Stairway to Heaven.” No, correct that: he CRUSHED the tune. When he was finished, he was able to tell me that he wowed everyone when he played it at his school talent show, and we were able to start a discussion about how he was able to do that: what gave him the confidence? And then we were off and running on what was bothering him and how to deal with it. Read more

When Trauma Defines You

When Trauma Defines You

How do you define yourself?

That isn’t something many people think about much, but it actually is a crucial question.

First of all, what do I mean by “define yourself?” I am talking about the things that contribute to how you feel about yourself in your baseline state.

Of course, there are lots of things that do this. As I see it, there are two basic categories: things that happen in your life, whether it is something you consciously strive for or something that just happens, and who you are intrinsically. So one is external and the other internal. Read more

Hand-Me-Down Vows

Hand-Me-Down Vows

The definition of a vow is a “solemn promise,” which implies a conscious decision. Yet what I have found in my work is the unconscious also makes vows, often destructive ones. Uncovering these unconscious vows and then breaking them can be hard going, but it is possible and can be incredibly healing. Read more

One-Day Camp for Wrestlers

One-Day Camp for Wrestlers

Attention, all high-school wrestlers:

We’re holding a one-day camp for you in November!

New England College wrestling coach John Archambeau and I will be covering both the mental game and working on the mat for high-school and PG students who want to take their wrestling to the next level. Players will leave with both a Personal Performance Plan to help them with their mental game as well as a Physical Performance Plan to help them be better athletes and wrestlers.

The camp will be Sunday, November 20, 11am-5pm, at the New England College Field House in Henniker, New Hampshire.

Here is more information and the registration form.

 

Curriculum of Confidence Assembly

Curriculum of Confidence Assembly

I am offering a new assembly this year for high school students. Appropriate for both public and private school settings, my Curriculum of Confidence program empowers students to take control of their own futures.

Here is the flyer that describes the program.

It sounds ambitious, but really the premise is simple: It’s about Voice and Choice. Read more

Opiates and Outcome Fever

Opiates and Outcome Fever

I spoke to a father of three teenage boys recently, a very reasonable, bright man. He expressed concern about the fact that opiates are out there, and we talked about striking that parenting balance around drugs and alcohol, about finding that sweet spot where you don’t issue blanket prohibitions that are impossible to enforce, nor do you become overly permissive.

This brought up some things I’ve been mulling over:

  1. Why are so many teenagers sniffing and shooting opiates, boys and girls who, a generation ago, wouldn’t have even entertained a thought of using them?
  2. What are the more complex dynamics in middle- and upper-class schools and families that are causing kids to use opiates?

Actually, I would argue that “good” kids are taking risks with many aspects of their lives, not just opiates. In fact, many of their choices can be seen through the lens of addictive behavior, whether it’s sex, working out, drinking, video games, even schoolwork. Read more

The Beauty of Mindless Tasks

The Beauty of Mindless Tasks

For some reason I don’t understand, many kids today are not ever asked to do housework. They are never asked to do a dish, vacuum, do laundry, mow the lawn, or any household chores. Perhaps parents think their children are too busy to waste time on mundane tasks? I would argue that these mindless tasks are anything but mundane. Read more

Last Call for Hockey Players

Last Call for Hockey Players

Tomorrow is the last day to sign up for my one-day hockey leadership workshop, which takes place on Sunday. My one-day retreats teach rising high school juniors, seniors, and post-grads to learn more about the mental and emotional skills needed to take their game to the next level, as well as how to assess and improve their strength and conditioning specifically for their sport.

On Sunday, June 26, I will be working with head coach Norm Bazin (UMass Lowell) to offer a hockey retreat.

The retreat will be held at The Farm in Waltham, Massachusetts.

More information and registration information can be found here:

Hockey retreat brochure

Special Opportunity for High School Football and Hockey Players

Special Opportunity for High School Football and Hockey Players

Next month I am teaming up with Division I head coaches and strength and conditioning coaches to offer one-day workshops in football and hockey that teach rising high school juniors, seniors, and post-grads to learn more about the mental and emotional skills needed to take their game to the next level, as well as how to assess and improve their strength and conditioning specifically for their sport.

On Sunday, June 12, I team up with Holy Cross’s head coach Tom Gilmore and strength and conditioning director Jeff Oliver for a football retreat.

On Sunday, June 26, I will be working with head coaches Norm Bazin (UMass Lowell) and Rick Bennett (Union College) and Union College’s head strength and conditioning coach Dan Gabelman to offer a hockey retreat.

Both retreats will be held at The Farm in Waltham, Massachusetts.

More information and registration information can be found here:

Football retreat brochure

Hockey retreat brochure

Space is limited, so please sign up early to avoid disappointment.

For more information:

Secret Life of Kids Program on May 17

Secret Life of Kids Program on May 17

I will be facilitating a panel of experts for a program at the Concord (N.H.) High School Auditorium on Tuesday, May 17, from 6-8pm. Sponsored by the Concord Hospital Center for Health Promotion, the program is free, and all are welcome.

The program will be covering a lot of the material that appeared in my latest blog post.

Here is the program flyer, which has more information.

Don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions, and I hope to see you there.