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Hey Jeff, I am sorry I have not been in contact lately. I can’t tell you what a year of experience and working out my anxiety and thoughts has done for me, and the confidence to get it all to happen started with you 100%. You showed me life in its simplest ways and shocked me at how your calm and relaxed demeanor really carried you through life so positively. I honestly have a COMPLETELY different perspective on life than I did a year ago, and I mean completely. There was just no need to be all tense and anxious all the time, but man have I learned to process my thoughts at a much more relaxed level and have really just slowed everything down and started to just, I don’t know how to put it. Just be me, and I have gotten to a point where I really take pride in ME, nobody else, I have learned that no matter my outside circumstances, what anyone says, does, this does not control nor affect me. I am me, and the absolute biggest change I made that changed my outlook on life in the best way was literally just always being positive just seeing life as a simply beautiful thing and no matter the negative circumstance just to enjoy it and just love it for what it is, and to always clap for my peers successes, not always being blind to chasing mine to but bond deeply with the people around me. There is no more constant worry or fear and tenseness.

Yes, I have things to work out for sure, speaking is still my greatest weakness, and would I feel comfortable giving a speech to a classroom right now? No, but does that define me? Of course not, it’s a challenge I face and it has brought me to unthinkable heights mentally that I had previously thought unreachable. The bigger picture is just so much clearer to me now. I have come to understand that your mind is your reality, I mean you can literally rewire your brain to feel however you want, it’s all a course of thinking patterns. I started to plant these positive seeds in my brain and continually fed only those seeds and not the negatives and boom my life started to change. Within a few months of facing this anxiety head on at a completely different environment I have come to have a sense of confidence and self assurance that really like I said I never thought I would be capable of reaching. It’s all perspective, my outlook on even the littlest things. I felt like I wanted to just give up, and saw no reason to keep going, and ugh honestly Jeff I felt I couldn’t do it anymore before.

Thinking different is the most powerful thing anyone can do for their own life. The reason I couldn’t have things previously thought to be unreachable, was only because of the stories I told myself on why I couldn’t have those things. I let other people get the best of me. I couldn’t care less about other people. I love it man, like it just feels so great to let all of these thoughts out like this into this (extremely long) message. I have just come such a long way, and I can go so much further. I think the greatest part about it all, is that I don’t let these kinds of things define me, as I stated previously. All of my fears, shortcomings, you name it, I let that tear me apart. Now, I LOVE those things! Those are what help me grow, and I love it because whenever these things happen, people expect you to break, but when you show them, that failures are just no more than minor setbacks, and not defining moments it just baffles them. I have helped other kids in school through their own problems with them as well by just talking over perspective with them, and I would have never been able to do these things without the help of you. Like it’s so weird I just feel like I can understand everyone around me, like I just know exactly what they are feeling and I think it took going through these terrifying times to get to this point. I still have my anxieties no doubt, but I now see 0 shame in these anxieties. I am still scared to do things, and at times scared to take risks and chances. I am very vulnerable. There are points that I know I can reach that can break me in the moment, I can freeze while giving a speech in the classroom etc. I know this is my weakness. It is my vulnerability. I take pride in that. But I know that everyone is completely vulnerable. Everyone, no matter who you are. We all have our vulnerabilities. My previous thoughts were that I could not be anxious AND be confident, but I could not have been more wrong. I couldn’t be confident because I was telling myself that.